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Intimate Interactions

Relationship Podcast

Transformative Justice

Accountability Road Map is a graphic from Philly Stands Up (The Abolitionist Spring 2012) about the work a team, pod, or coach would do with someone who has been called out.

Accounting for Ourselves (PDF, 40 pages) about pitfalls and philosophy behind why and how community accountability process fail. I highly recommend this for anyone attempting a Community Accountability Process as a what-not-to-do.

The Chrysalis Collective’s Ending Sexual Assault Through Transformative Justice (PDF) is also a good resource for looking at phases of Community Accountability. 

Implementing Grassroots Accountability Strategies (PDF)

Safety Is an Illusion (PDF) discusses the myth of safe spaces.

My Core Values Exercise (PDF) helps you find your core values for Accountability and Support.

I’ve written a guide on creating Impact Statements with or without the harmful person still in the picture. These can be useful for corporate team repair as well as non-criminal allegations of harm.

Great resource pages do exist on the internet. One I particularly like is Aida Manduley’s CA Resources page.

The Revolution Starts at Home (PDF) is a great collection of writings (111 pages) on Community Accountability.

Transformative Justice and Anti-Oppression

INCITE! (radical feminists of colour) has a Strategies for Organizing page and a Community Accountability page.

Mariame Kaba is awesome. Sites like (transformative justice) and (lists of publications as resources on TJ and RJ) are great places to learn more.

The Tenets of Anti-Racism from Resist Racism was useful for me.

Toxic Elements of Masculinity are harmful to men and everyone else.

Consider doing an Accessibility Audit on your venue provided by the Radical Access Mapping Project.


Generation Five has created a Transformative Justice Handbook for Ending Child Sexual Abuse (68 pages).

Creative Interventions has a Toolkit for Domestic Violence (622 pages) including a Section 4F: Taking Accountability (86 pages). Pages 11-25 of Section 4F are Tips for Accountability.

The Anti-Violence Project Victoria has Anti-Oppression Resources.

It’s worth being aware of the social model of disability.

If you want to read more about disability justice, Mia Mingus has a blog called She’s All Fat.

Anti-Racism Books

So You Want to Talk about Race by Ijeoma Oluo, Audiobook read by Bahni Turpin (both Black femmes – [Difficulty imo: appropriate even if this is your first book]

How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi has an accompanying Workbook and Audiobook read by himself, (a Black man) – [Difficulty imo: novice]

Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla F. Saad comes with journaling prompts, Audiobook read by herself (a Black, Muslim, British femme) – [intermediate]


Anti-Racism Sites

42 BIPOC Led Organizations won grants for their work supporting racial justiceCheck them out!

One of the flagship resources to come out of the US is the National SEED Project.

There is also a model for white folks called Scaffolded Anti-Racist Resources.

There’s also a primarily US Resources for Accountability and Actions for Black Lives doc.

Resources for mental health issues affecting Black Men can be found in an article from Drug Rehab USA.

Check out patreon if you want to support my work.


I wrote an Introduction to Nonmonogamy!

Check out the Intimate Interactions Podcast about intimacy, sex, relationships, ethical nonmonogamy, and kink.

I also recommend the books More Than Two, Nonviolent Communication, and Love’s Not Colorblind.

I also really enjoyed this break-down of 8 times Mister Rogers gave excellent poly advice.


Tornus’ Not a Checklist Checklist (PDF) is recommended for learning what to negotiate for kink and sex.

Rain City TNG’s Tonight, I Want! is recommended for a short worksheet to check in with yourself and your partner.

Ali, Ara, and Geneva made a Worksheet to Talk to Partners about Sex (PDFon AutostraddleRecommended as great print materials for having conversations about kink and sex).

There is also a Yes, No, Maybe Checklist imo for Prenegotiation Only. Finally there’s Jay Wiseman’s BDSM Negotiation imo for Prenegotiation Only.

There’s also the MVK Legacies: Navigating Negotiation workshop that I coauthored.

Mental Health

I wrote a Skills for Self Love Resource Sheet for a class I taught. I also wrote a Trauma Survival Guide.

Here’s a list of Mood Disorder Peer Support Groups in the GVA.

The Willow Tree Counselling Resource Sheet is an incredible list of low cost resources divided into Trauma Support, LGBTQ+, Addictions, and many other categories. It’s a huge value.

BC Government: Where Can I Find Free or Low Cost Mental Health Services

BC Government: Getting Help for Mental Illnesses

Vancouver Crisis Phone – Find more at their website

Dragonstone Counselling Website – Queer, Kink, and Non-monogamy friendly counselling that does sliding scale – email them at [email protected]

Want to create a support group or train to facilitate? Try PeerNetBC. They are even sometimes able to provide sliding-scale, accessible support group venues.

Healing from Trauma

Ending Violence Canada has a List of Sexual Assault Centers and Crisis Lines and Support Services

Dawn Serra has a book, social media, and journal prompt resource list for trauma survivors called Reclaiming Body Trust

Spring Up Collective has a self-care worksheet

If you are supporting or speaking with a survivor, RAINN has Tips for Talking with Survivors of Sexual Violence

The National Sexual Violence Research Centre has a resource list of online communities for survivors


Harm Reduction

Harm reduction is one of the underlying principles I follow in my consulting surrounding accountability and anti-racism. If you think about applying the philosophy in the TED talk above to sexual assault or racism, it leads to some interesting places.

PACE Society is a by sex workers for sex workers advocacy and resources group where you can learn about sex work.

Interested in drug education, drug training, and drug harm reduction? Karmik Harm Reduction does non-judgmental work in helping create safer real world party and drug cultures. There is a more literal explanation of harm reduction in the video below: