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What would it look like if you were invited to an orgy and you were excited to go? Would you want to go back again? If you had a partner who was genuinely excited for you to go or perhaps even come with you – would you go?

Let’s say you’ve been going to fun events that involve dating, sex, or kink. You’ve been going long enough people ask you to teach a five minute talk on consent. You practice. You have a decent talk. You’re super nervous. You go up. You crush it. You come off the stage, and people are suddenly more interested in you. People you didn’t have the confidence to approach are now approaching you.

Here’s the rub: power imbalances make ethical sex complicated. I want to say that again: power imbalances make ethical sex complicated.

How do you put down the power of the microphone effect when the microphone is already down? People who just met you while you were on stage holding a microphone don’t care that it was unpaid work you just did. They don’t care that you only have a year’s experience. They have none! Where does your responsibility begin and end?

These are complicated situations that we all too easily find ourselves in, so let’s talk a little about it with our European friends, Olivier from Belgium and Janina from Vienna and Berlin.