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Today wicked is back to touch on career and gender stuff. What does success or failure look like in the mind of a depressive? How does career play into that?

Gender also plays an interesting role in depression as it informs your sense of community and isolation. Body language is powerful, and isolation in small communities can be fatal. 

Outside of secondary sex characteristics like scent and lines of the body, almost all of gender is abstract and constructed from the clothes we wear to most of the behaviours we socialize as evidenced by differing behaviours among sexes in different societies. Some societies recognize a third gender and have done for millennia. Others have fewer boxes in which they categorize themselves.

Fortunately, more and more countries are understanding that cosmetic modification of children’s genitals is probably a really bad thing that leads to mental health problems later in life, and that gender affirmation surgery is literally a life saving procedure.

I think we discuss three notions today: that failure isn’t the absence of success, that gender is sorcery, and that mental health meds are a journey.


The Pyramid of Regulate-Relate-Reason from Dr. Bruce D. Perry (

The Window of Tolerance Image from Dr. Marie S. Dezelic (reposted on my site because her links appear broken). Read her article here: (–traumaanxiety-rela)


  1. What has your career path been over time?
  2. How has pursuit of excellence contributed to depression?
  3. Now that you’re finally gaining career traction and doing super cool shit, is the success as fulfilling as you’d imagined before you had it?
  4. Have you done cognitive behavioural therapy and if so, has it helped?
  5. Have you tried medication and if so, has it helped?
  6. What’s next for you in tackling your depression?