My soon-to-be 70 year old father visited from India and had a trans-ischemic attack while here. He’s been sick for about four weeks since he got here and was sick before he came, so I felt a sense of urgency to get to know him better, document for my nieces, and to ask what questions I had.
He speaks well and often chooses only to highlight predominantly`the positives which could be seen as editorializing the past, you know – what I’m doing right now by offering a forward – or alternatively choosing to see only the positives. While some might argue parents who feel they’ve made mistakes and focus only on the positive are avoiding accountability, I haven’t gotten that sense from him and choose to believe he’s trying to illustrate the importance of focusing on the positives.
I’ve recently been trying hard to notice positives in my life more and have been finding the effects if nothing else, relieving. The world feels less dark. I feel more hopeful. Of course, I’m also medicated, and both have played roles in my increasing satisfaction in life. It’s not about only seeing positive though – I lean into the negatives and express the bad. I feel when I’m hurting. However it’s easy as a depressive to only do those last ones. It’s much harder to notice the colour of leaves changing seasons or smile at fresh snow falling.
Also, fun fact: this was recorded on Friday the 13th which was also my father’s mother’s birthday. Whelp – let’s go to the session.