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Maita is a men’s coach living in Victoria who teaches healthy relationships between men. We talk about emotional labour, exercises you can do with your friends or at home, strategies with intimate partners, socially acceptable ways men share intimacy with other men, and about the challenge of restoring intimacy between men if they’ve received gender messages that have poisoned their relationships or have been “toxic” in some way to them.

We hope you enjoy the session. It might be somewhat binary at times but is designed for people who identify as men, and I think gender non conforming and non binary folks who present as masculine or men in any amount could still get some use out of the content. Content warning: when talking about depression and men, suicide may come up. Please resource yourself appropriately.

  1. Would you offer a definition of toxic masculinity?
  2. How do you convince men to buy out of toxic masculinity?
  3. What would you want to see more men buy into? (themselves, relationship skills)
  4. Could you define emotional labour?
  5. Could you talk about your witnessing exercise?
  6. How can men get stronger at emotional labour of self improvement without relying on women or their intimate partners?
  7. How does non-monogamy impact a man’s search for intimacy?
  8. What are the socially acceptable ways men share intimacy with other men?
  9. How do we restore intimacy with other men?
  10. What are some of the realms where men can have intimacy with other men?
  11. How does homophobia play into men sharing friendship and intimacy with other men?
  12. Restore stress regulation.
  13. Restore relationships within ourselves.
  14. Restore relationships amongst men.
  15. Restore relationships with people who aren’t men.


The Pyramid of Regulate-Relate-Reason from Dr. Bruce D. Perry (

The Window of Tolerance Image from Dr. Marie S. Dezelic (reposted on my site because her links appear broken). Read her article here: (–traumaanxiety-rela)