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It’s my pleasure to talk more with Jazz Goldman today, an intersex human, friend of mine, ocassional sex partner of mine, and professional cuddler for cuddlist. Suffice it to say they have a really informed and interesting perspective on intimacy, sex, and gender. Jazz is also a mixed race person like me, except instead of being British and Indian, they are a Black Jew. I mention that because I think all four of those identities are complex, but in many ways the most complex identity is that of being mixed race, and on that front, I think the two of us find a lot of common ground.

Since this episode is about intersex folks, I want to make a quick point. If sizes and shapes of genitals are already understood to vary widely, perhaps on several bell curves, why is it such a stretch to think of the shape varying not only among genitals in two binary categories but between those categories as well, perhaps like an inverted bell curve where most people occupy a space towards one of two categories but various people are spread out between the archetypes of peniscrotum and vulvovaginal? 

This isn’t even getting into things like androgen insensitivity syndrome, gonads that don’t quote unquote match visible genitals, klinefelters syndrome, turner syndrome, or any of the other various situations that intersex folks might be in. I’ll post a video by some intersex people on what it’s like to be intersex ( But now, let’s go to the episode, recorded on my back in a dark room while I was uber sick with a headache during a bout of IBS.

1. Apologies for being super sick; describe room.

2. How would you define intersex?

3. How is that different from and similar to trans-ness?

4. What’s your social experience having a body that can be perceived outside of male/female binary?

5. How does presenting as non-binary impact the way others see you professionally?

6. How does intersexuality impact your relationships?

7. Do you experience any intersections culturally between being intersex and being Black and or Jewish?

8. Any closing remarks?