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Hello Intimates,

Do you know anyone queer, kinky, polyamorous, or otherwise non monogamous? Often those people have spent time in the quote unquote closet. That is to say they were probably unconvinced they could safely be honest about who they were.

Enter shame, a dangerous and destructive emotion that can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses.

Our guest today is Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti, a 62 year old, Black, sex positive, body positive femme shame expert. She presented her workshop Transcending Shame at Converge Con these past two years while I was presenting on Consent and BDSM in the ballroom next door.

I apologize in advance for any problematic stuff that gets said in the session. I can own that I can do better. I also do my best to code-switch which means to change my language to match that of the person I’m chatting with. Ultimately I want to understand a person’s meaning and get the best performance or information from them that they have to offer.

Sex workers are awesome humans and there’s nothing shameful about that work even if society seems to think there is. It also isn’t great to feel like you’re at work while you’re having sex for fun – unless that’s your thing of course.

In any case, Gloria has really great stuff on shame and I’m incredibly excited to share her perspective with you on Intimate Interactions.


Art of Asking, The by Amanda Palmer (audio | book

Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay (audio | book

Gifts of Imperfection, The by Brené Brown (audio | book)

Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw (audio | book

Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, The: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman PhD and Nan Silver (audio | book)

Gloria Jackson Nefertiti’s 4 Ways to Transcend Shame

Listening to Shame (Brene Brown)