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Lisa and Paula are back again: two monogamous, vanilla, heterosexual women of colour in their 40s. They’re successful entrepreneurs and mothers and wives who met during their MBA programs at UBC. This session turned into suburban housewives curious about my lifestyle without any desire to change their current lives presently which is great. These kinds of cultural exchange are fascinating to me.

We don’t have to value the same needs to understand each other; we don’t have to prioritize the same goals to appreciate one another and the challenge of pursuing those goals. Sometimes being at different places in life reminds us of the unique joys we have like families, children, and careers or in my case, the beautiful tangle that is the intertwining of multiple intimate relationships.

There certainly doesn’t have to be a trade off where one picks one or the other as my numerous non monogamous parents will tell you. Love and Kindness in the world can be as ubiquitous as your circumstances and your heart will allow.

But… your time is quite limited. It seems like you have a lot of it when you’re in your 20s, but one of the best parts of aging into my 30s has been my evolving relationship to time. So too as time becomes more limited does it become more important. I’m trying to do fewer things I don’t want to do with my life and more things I really want to do with my life.

And one of those things is making this podcast just for you. If you want to support me in that endeavour, you can just tell a friend about Intimate Interactions or if you want to keep helping other intimacy nerds find me, feel free to leave a review wherever you get your podcasts, but especially iTunes.

Thanks for listening.


I mentioned the Vancouver improvised partner dance scene. There’s also if you decide you want to explore more in the BDSM realm. You can also find content on my website to have conversations about open relationships or introduce the idea to partners at:

For non monogamy events, there are two pages (though both call polyamory “poly” which may be unfair to Polynesian people who prefer we use PolyAm or another shortening rather than burying their pre-existing use, their groups, and visibility of culture (under an avalanche of middle class white folks flocking to a new lifestyle). It’s a complex issue involving the word Polynesian being a colonial word and the complicated experience of internal Racism, something BIMPoC folks tend to understand in my experience and non racialized folks tend not to understand. My advice, it’s not inconvenient to just change your language, especially if you don’t understand the experience of being part of a struggling diaspora that is marginalized): and

Trufelle is a high-end cannabis edible created by the two entrepreneurs from today’s episode. They host events if you’re interested. Their burlesque group and event is Petra’s quadrants of arousal that they mention can be found at