Status and shame stick with each of us differently and follow us through life. Today we meet Lisa and Paula, two monogamous, vanilla, heterosexual women of colour in their 40s. They’re both successful entrepreneurs and mothers and wives who met during their MBA programs at UBC. We talk about the issues that suburban housewives face such as wives and mothers putting their own needs last as well as assumptions they’re successful because of their husbands.
As with most relationships, long term ones follow seasons of intimacy and connection. While there are many paths to intimacy, Lisa and Paula talk about their use of cannabis edibles to bridge across sexual shame through to a rich intimate exchange with their monogamous life partners. They put their MBA degrees to use started their own company selling microdoses of cannabis edibles called Trufelle, marketing to suburban housewives. For clarity, I wasn’t compensated for any podcasts with them, but they did gift me a box of Trufelle.
Today we’re talking about shame, but in our next sessions we’ll talk about attraction, arousal, orgasm, and non monogamy. To be honest, I find their radically different experience of the world refreshing and interesting, and thought you’d enjoy sitting in on that conversation.
I mentioned the Vancouver improvised partner dance scene. There’s also http://metrovancouverkink.com if you decide you want to explore more in the BDSM realm. You can also find content on my website to have conversations about open relationships or introduce the idea to partners at: https://victorsalmon.com/relationships.
For non monogamy events, there are two pages (though both call polyamory “poly” which may be unfair to Polynesian people who prefer we use PolyAm or another shortening rather than burying their pre-existing use, their groups, and visibility of culture (under an avalanche of middle class white folks flocking to a new lifestyle). It’s a complex issue involving the word Polynesian being a colonial word and the complicated experience of internal Racism, something BIMPoC folks tend to understand in my experience and non racialized folks tend not to understand. My advice, it’s not inconvenient to just change your language, especially if you don’t understand the experience of being part of a struggling diaspora that is marginalized): https://www.facebook.com/VancouverPoly101 and http://www.vanpoly.ca/
Here’s the BDSM, Paraphilias, and Paraphilic Disorders Article from The Atlantic.