When provided feedback, the Constellation may opt to individually call me in. They may opt to email the entire constellation for advice. They may suggest a voluntary Accountability Process.
Most Processes for me would require several of the Constellation to “seat” for the process (engage formally as members of a new and temporary Accountability Pod).
The Pod would probably form from members of the Constellation or other professionals. Below are unpaid members of my Constellation. Depending on the duration and intensity of the pod work and my available funds, I would compensate all experienced pod members during a process.
Hi my name is Mati. I am a settler living in Lekwungen territories. I am professionally and personally engaged with critiquing and re-imagining patriarchy and systems of domination. I primarily focus on how traditional masculinity shapes men’s health and impacts our communities.
Andi is the former Vice President of Metro Vancouver Kink. As co-founder and co-host of MVK’s Newbie Munch, she’s helped hundreds of folks navigate their entry into the world of kink and alternative sexuality.
Chloe Vargamor is a versatile, vibrant, voracious, and occasionally vexing sex positive educator, activist, and performer based out of Seattle. She has spent the last few years building community and supporting local activists, and her passion for consent and healthy relationships and sexuality shines through in everything she does. You can connect with her on Instagram and Twitter @morbidsexkitten, or over email at [email protected]
Photo by Tom Hill
“The survivor should not be objectified or minimized as a symbol of an idea instead of an actual person.” (taking risks, p.65)
During an Accountability Process, several members of my Constellation will form a Pod, a special committee of folks tasked with guiding me through the Process according to the following values:
- Reduce barriers for folks to report harm.
- Consider barriers like misogyny, racism, ableism, etc.
- Practice consensual transparency about the Process with the community.
- Acknowledge intersectionality: that harmful people also experience oppression.
- Keep the Process in a realistic scope.
- Consider if this is the best use of community resources.
- Encourage long-term growth, development, and self-awareness of participants.
- Encourage self care, rest time, and emotional support.
- Identify tangible, observable behaviours.
- Set clear expectations about change.
- Clearly list ideal outcomes and tangible solutions to get there.
- Acknowledge real world obstructions to speed including: fragility, jobs, counselling, circumstance, etc.
- Treat people who have harmful behaviours compassionately.
- Avoid shame, humilitation, or revenge.
- Promote all parties making decisions for themselves.
- Offer neutral support: accept requests without guarantees; deliver requests without demands.
- We are all experts of our own experience.
- Encourage living well.
- Encourage autonomy, acknowledgement, boundary-setting, privacy, and empowerment, especially of survivors..